No one likes stress, and it makes sense that we apply self-protective methods to avoid situations that we perceive as stressful or painful. Preventing stress and maintaining control seems a reasonable way to remain calm, but it can do more harm than good. Avoidance behavior used as a coping mechanism can empower you. It gives you a false sense of control and makes you feel good at the moment, but avoiding problems does not solve them. Instead, it can lead to destructive coping mechanisms such as isolation and substance abuse. This creates a vicious cycle of avoidance that increases stress and creates and reinforces anxiety and depression.[1]
The Cycle of Avoidance
Avoidance behaviors become self-destructive when used to avoid or distract us from difficult thoughts, feelings, situations, and conversations. As a result, we avoid the pain we must face and deal with to stop the avoidant behavior. People use avoidance as a natural coping mechanism for pain, trauma, and other mental health issues. Still, avoidance creates a problem when it keeps us from moving forward in life and keeps us in a cycle of anxiety and avoidance.[2] Avoidance as a coping mechanism may lead you to avoid essential responsibilities, positive situations like a new job or career opportunities, relationships, social situations, recreational activities, and more. Avoiding people, places, and events restricts your life and have the opposite effect of what you want. You may experience temporary relief in the short term, but avoidance increases stress and anxiety in the long run.
Types of Avoidance Behavior
When we avoid anxiety-induced thoughts and feelings, we reinforce them by not resolving the cause of these thoughts and feelings. It allows the cycle of anxiety and avoidance to continue. We must learn how to stop the stress and reduce the anxiety and depression contributing to avoidant behavior.
1. Situational Avoidance
Situational avoidance is the most common type of avoidance. It is when we stay away from people, places, things, or activities that trigger stress or pain. Some of the ways situational avoidance can manifest are:
A veteran avoids fireworks because the noise triggers a stress response Someone avoids crowded spaces because of a traumatic event experienced in a crowd Not driving past the house of a failed recent relationship Avoiding small places because we were locked in a closet as a child
2. Cognitive Avoidance
Cognitive avoidance is when we shift our minds away from thoughts, feelings, or memories that are stressful or painful. For example, we distract our minds with: [3]
Fantasies Mental Rituals Ritualized Prayers Affirmations Chronic Worrying Over-Preparing Over-Planning Obsessive Thinking
3. Protective Avoidance
Protective avoidance refers to actions you take in the external environment that help you feel safer in your internal environment. Productive avoidance can be associated with behaviors such as:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders Perfectionism Over-Preparation Procrastination
4. Somatic Avoidance
Somatic avoidance is when we avoid situations because they elicit a physical response similar to anxiety or panic with associated symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, fear, breathlessness, sweating dizziness. People who avoid using these bodily responses will avoid activities or situations that trigger such responses. These thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can include:
Constant worry about potential illness Viewing normal physical sensations as a sign of severe physical illness Fearing that symptoms are serious, even when there is no evidence Feeling that medical evaluation and treatment have not been adequate Fearing that physical activity may cause damage to your body Repeatedly checking your body for abnormalities Frequent health care visits that don’t relieve your concerns or that make them worse Being unresponsive to medical treatment or unusually sensitive to medication side effects Having a more severe impairment than is usually expected from a medical condition
5. Substitution Avoidance
Substitution avoidance is when we substitute a feeling or activity with a different feeling or action that’s easier to deal with or reduce our pain. Substitution avoidance can manifest internally or externally. Internal substitution avoidance replaces feelings, like sadness or grief with anger, which may be easier to deal with. External substitution avoidance is something we use outside ourselves to cope with emotional pain like alcohol, food, drugs, sex, or anything that provides temporary relief from difficult or painful emotions. This is when you avoid pain by replacing or covering painful thoughts and feelings to generate feelings of numbness through risky behavior, gambling, video games, eating, and other impulsive behaviors.
Examples of Avoidance Behavior
Avoidance behaviors can present themselves in different ways, such as:
Procrastination Escapism Avoiding certain feelings or conversations Drug/alcohol use Wishful thinking or daydreaming Burying one’s emotions Self-isolation Eating Gambling Avoiding eye contact Lowering voice when speaking Leaving gatherings early Making excuses to avoid attending any social gathering Obsessive-compulsive behaviors Canceling plans at the last minute Not responding to calls or texts Avoiding certain places Not applying for a new job
Effects of Avoidance Behavior
Avoidance leads to more stress, anxiety, and depression. Avoidance can become a destructive habit leading to greater anxiety or depression and susceptibility to more triggered responses. We can lose professional and social responsibilities, have few friends, hurt personal relationships, or keep ourselves in an avoidance anxiety cycle.[4] Avoidant behavior can be a symptom of the following mental health issues:
Social Anxiety Disorder Panic Disorder PTSD Avoidant Attachment Abandonment Issues Toxic Shame Depression Generalized Anxiety Disorder Toxic Relationships Eating Disorders Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Substance Use Disorder
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Avoidant Personality Disorder affects 2.4% of the U.S. population. Genetics and environmental factors, especially in childhood, contribute to avoidant personality disorder. Parental or peer rejection is often associated with this disorder and can impact a person’s self-esteem, sense of worth, and coping skills. During early childhood and youth, our brain responds to our environment. Positive, safe, and secure environments with warm, responsive parents help us learn to deal with stress and develop coping skills that we will use in the future. Learning more about your early environment and how stress affects your brain can help you deal with avoidant behaviors. Trying to prevent stress, painful thoughts, and feelings through avoidant behaviors instead of allowing yourself to feel the emotions provides a false sense of control. Rather, it gives control to the thoughts and emotions you’re trying to avoid. The symptoms of this behavior can be mild to severe and can create or increase the following:
Poor self-image Thoughts of being inferior or inadequate Lack of self-esteem Lack of confidence Lack of the ability to take chances Fear in social settings from fear of being embarrassed Relationship problems from fear of rejection Oversensitivity to criticism Staying in a job or relationship that you don’t want to
This disorder can isolate a person from society without proper treatment, causing long-term work and social functioning difficulties, increased risk for anxiety and depression, and destructive behaviors.
How to Overcome Avoidance Behaviors
Once you understand what avoidance is and its ramifications in our lives, you need to investigate methods for relieving avoidant behaviors and improving the quality of your life. Stress exacerbates all mental, emotional, and behavioral symptoms related to avoidance. Avoidance can mask itself as anxiety and depression. Therefore learning how to understand and reduce the root causes of stress by getting stress coaching or anxiety and depression coaching to learn to deal with issues instead of avoiding them is paramount for decreasing avoidance.[5]
5 Mental Shifts
First, we need to recognize and acknowledge certain concepts that will help us become the person we want to be. The following are additional thoughts to help you further in your quest to reduce avoidance and live the life that you deserve:
7 Stress Relief Techniques
Stress relief techniques act as a way to decompress before approaching a difficult situation. Over time, these techniques will lower baseline stress levels. Here are some strategies for reducing stress and overcoming avoidance behaviors:
Conclusion
Avoidance is a natural part of being human, acting to protect us from stress and pain. However, when avoidance becomes a way of life, it puts your life on hold, preventing a person from moving forward in their life. Avoiding your feelings, thoughts, and memories can limit your life for weeks, months, or years. Unfortunately, in some cases, avoidance can become a way of life. Not only can that prevent personal growth and the satisfaction that comes with overcoming your fears, but it may take away from your overall quality of life. Avoidance can also hurt those around you. Developing coping skills, positive habits, and understanding how stress affects your brain and contributes to avoidance are necessary parts of the process required for maintaining mental and emotional balance in our lives. Get the help that you need. Learn how to stop avoiding your life and live the life you deserve.
Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com
